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The Art of Believing

All you need is Believing! And it can take you places! (I wont say Believe me, just read on). The Art of Believing is a post about my journey towards and a testimonial about believing.

I am an early 80’s kid and was a typical neglected middle child. The only memory I have of my early childhood is that of having no friends, being lonely and extremely shy. I was average in studies, enough to not get into trouble with my parents and teachers. If I dint go to school for a few days, nobody would miss me.

Most of my childhood was spent in having very low self confidence and the feeling that I wasn’t good enough and everyone else was better than me. Things started changing a bit during college, when I left home to live on my own in a hostel but the feeling never went away. Finished college and joined work, and looking back, I was very good at what I did. But the feeling of not being good enough never went away, no matter what I did, I was never happy with myself.

I took design lessons, I somehow was convinced that I was never going to be a professional interior designer, but it dint hurt to learn. I spent hundreds of hours researching material and styles and arrangements and colors, but it did nothing to my confidence. I started blogging about home decor, but I was so stressed about posting pictures of my home coz they were not good enough.

I quit my job, started Indyakaleidoscope, took care of mom and in-spite of being told by several people that they wouldn’t be able to do what I did, I never felt better about myself.

So what changed?

I dont really remember what happened, but one day I was like “I am sick of this shit!”. Why should I feel inferior when I am not? The one and only person that I need to impress is myself. I do things with great love and passion, and if I am happy about it then nothing else matters. There are millions of people who do what I do and do it well, but there is just one of me and I am good at what I do and I am happy about it. No matter what I do, there will be someone or the other who will hate it, why should that stop me from even trying?

The Art of Believing

Well the realization came a little late, but it did come and it still wasn’t easy. It needed a lot of positive reinforcement at all times to maintain the attitude. Thats when I got my “Believe” tattoo on my left wrist, being a left hand’er everything thats required to do standing in front of a mirror, I use the left hand and I see it everyday. On the days I dint believe, it forced me to stay focused.

What triggered this post? I was updating my instagram profile, when it hit me! In the last one year, I have decorated for 4 projects and consulted for 3 more with one of them being a large commercial project. I no longer feel stressed about people judging my work. I’ve come a long way πŸ™‚

P.s. Link to an awesome makeover that I did HERE.

11 thoughts on “The Art of Believing”

  1. giri

    Love it!! And your tattoo.:)

    • Preethi

      Thank you Giri πŸ™‚

  2. Sudha

    Love you dear

    • Preethi

      Thank you Sudha πŸ™‚

  3. Manasa

    You rock Preeti, i dont know what i love more, your writing or your work.! You go girl!

    • Preethi

      Thank you so so much Manasa πŸ™‚

  4. Theodore

    I don’t endorse tattoos or body art or even modifications to ones person!
    But I’m glad that you ended up etching ‘believe’ in your heart and mind!
    I’ve been called a ‘maverick’ and vagabond by both my classmates and siblings (not to mention that raised brow of my dad that shrieked “rebel” 😝) and coworkers and just about anyone who has a close brush with me!
    It’s a long tedious journey to ‘Believing in oneself and one rung higher – to totally being honest with oneself’!!!
    I can really totally relate with the ravages you’ve been through!
    Thank you for the post! πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ

    • Preethi

      I never thought of you as a rebel, I dont know why. Maybe coz both of us are on the same side :p

  5. Theodore

    I felt I should elaborate ‘ravages’!
    The horrible feeling one has, especially a child (who can’t even understand that it’s what it is!), can construct a ‘walled in’ encasement of abject desolation which is almost literally suffocating and seemingly perpetually indestructible to break free! Everything one does falls back on one like a punishment in and by itself! Everything is ‘wrong’ a blunder and sin! Even the ‘smart thing’ one does becomes the dumbest thing ever possible!
    This is one thing that has encouraged me to be able to work with kids and try to reason with them and help them!
    I don’t want another person go through that because I remember how it felt – the whole world turning hostile to the face!
    We have the opportunity to make a difference!

  6. amrita tripathy

    incredible….! you are a strong lady

    • Preethi

      All of us are Amrita, its just a matter of realization πŸ™‚